{{NSFW}}So I was sitting in my house one day thinking about playing my favorite game Five Nights at Freddy's and then I noticed a boney looking man staring at me. He was tall and slender. I decided to follow him until I ended up in his house he told me to go in the basement so I did. He told me to play Call of Duty Advanced Warfare but I refused so he had me to stroke his bone and then sent me to my cell. The cell was small and had nothing in it he gave me a carrot and a toilet as well as a glass of water. He told me that was going to be my only food so if I wanted more I would have to eat my own shit out of the toilet.
Night 1: The first night he was staring at me the
whole time I wasn't able to sleep.
Night 2: He gave me a lovely
looking flower I named Daisy. Then
managed to get some sleep.
Night 3: He gave me some rotting
flesh to eat so I accepted and took it from him.
Night 4: He gave me some shears
and I tried to pick the lock but he caught me and placed blocks in front of my
cell so there was no escape.
Night 5: He unblocked my cell
only for me to see a bunch of cobwebs he said if I was able to get through them
he would let me go. But then I noticed I
went in to his bedroom he tried to rape me but I ran toward the front door but
it was no use he blocked it off. So I
ran back into my cell.
So
it has been months since I have seen the Muffin Man I think he might be dead
but even if this was true I wouldn't be able to escape anyway. I decided I would have sex with the flower
since it was so beautiful and I tried to make flower babies but for some reason
she was getting pregnant. More months
passed and then finally I was able to break out the blocks where gone and I
picked the door with the shears I noticed there was a cave in front of me so I
decided to go into it. When I got there
I was greeted by the Muffin Man he told me I had to go to his rectum kingdom so
he had me crawl up in his butthole and then I noticed a castle and the Muffin
Man was standing in front of me he told me to go in the castle. Then he told me I must find a key to talk to
him in his office. I found the key in a
chest by some lava and took it. When I
found his office he asked: "What do you want most?" Then I said "My freedom!" He said very well and he told me to follow
the path he was making so I did. When I
reached the end I was able to crawl out of his ass and ended up back in my
village. I told my flower I was going to
marry her and take her to Paris. I ran
to my house and then went to bed. The
next morning a squirrel came to my house and asked if I was getting married to
a flower I told him yes and then he told me that he knew a cat that would be
able to host a wedding at his house so he brought over the cat and the cat made
me follow him. He called my wedding a
special kind of wedding and he called me retarded but I didn't care I had my
flower so I paid him money to host the wedding then we got married. The next day I went to buy some potion from a
local witch to impregnate my flower. I
went in then she asked what I wanted. I
said. "Do you happen to sell
potions to impregnate my flower?"
She said. "What that is the most retarded request I ever gotten
people like you shouldn't breed!"
Then I gave her a lot of money and she gave me the potion. Then she said: "Here you go never return!" I gave my flower the potion and got it
instantly pregnant. I decided to take
her outside to give birth and everyone in the village was watching and staring
at me while my flower gave birth. When
she did I named the kid Rose and then took them both inside my house. I heard people shout: "What the fuck did
I just witness?" Then the next day
I went back to the witch's shop to buy some plane tickets to Paris I gave her
the money then rushed to the airport when I arrived they told me the tickets
where faked so I went back to the witch sword in hand demanding real
tickets. I killed a local villager that
got in my way. Then she said: "I
told you never to return now you got blood on my floor!" I said "I demand real tickets or you
will die!!" Then she said: I will
give you the tickets only if you get me some cocaine and more money so I went
to find a local cocaine dealer and got some money I had saved in my house and
went back to the shop. She said: "Good hang on while I get your
tickets." I heard her in the back
sniffing the cocaine up and then she came back and gave me the real
tickets. I went back to the airport and
went to Paris with Daisy and Rose. I
said look at the Eifel Tower it is beautiful.
She said: "Yes it is!"